April Fools

In a press conference a few days ago, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman made a surprising announcement. Bettman announced to the league that the NHL will be changing its format for who hosts the Stanley Cup Finals. Usually, the two teams split…

Yo, whassup’ dawgs. How’s it goin’? You're listening to the editor for the features section of THN—some would say the best section of the paper (many are saying this) (real). Anyway, you might be wondering what I’m doing manning the…

On March 24, 2023, in the midst of spring break, President Morris made a shocking announcement that the entirety of Dean Eaton Hall, better known as “Dirty Dean,” would only be housing members of the Esports team, effective at the start of…

After long suspicion, the popular social media app known as “TikTok” will now be banned in all states of the U.S. beginning April 1, 2023. TikTok has around 150 million users, which is about half of the U.S. population. Since TikTok is…

Es wird argumentiert, dass in einer freien Gesellschaft die Einwanderung ein wichtiges Element ist. Ich will darüber schrieben. Deutschland ist leider ein Land mit viel Hass gegenüber Einwanderung in seiner Geschichte. Deutschland ist seit…

In our time of well-deserved instant gratification and immediate up-to-date news, The Hill is just not cutting it anymore. It only updates weekly, has too few writers, and who has the time to read newspapers in this economy? While it will…

It is no secret that American democracy is falling apart. From rampant government spending to a near collapse in the banking system, our government is a failure. American democracy has delegitimized itself. However, there are still many…

Cowboys vs Buccaneers. The highlight of my semester was supposed to be watching the first Sunday Night Football with my brothers after a long week of grinding Econ 100 and Intro to Business while my parents watched me blow money from afar…