April Fools: NLE Choppa Cancels Spring Fest
Rapper to be Replaced by Singer Addison Rae
NLE Choppa fans, I have some bad news for you. He will no longer be joining us at this upcoming Springfest hosted by St. Lawrence University’s Association for Campus Entertainment. The rapper is most well-known for his hits “SLUT ME OUT,” “SLUT ME OUT 2” and “SLUT ME OUT 3.” This shocking news came over this past spring break. ACE concert chair Poppy Hanson ’25 revealed that the decision occurred after NLE Choppa googled “Canton, New York” on his iPhone 13 Pro Max and allegedly blurted out to his manager, “hell nah.” Hanson then went on record and added, “While we’re disappointed in Mr. Choppa’s decision, we think our new choice will satisfy the previously concerned safety and security office as well as the administration.” This decision, coming after the announcement of his show, will undoubtedly disappoint many of his St. Lawrence University fans.
However, ACE utilized the spring break time and diligently searched for a replacement act for the star rapper. They were ultimately able to book former TikToker and Netflix actress Addison Rae, who is now pop music’s newest sensation. Rae, 24, said she “did not know that this was actually a real thing” until she received the pay for her upcoming performance. This will be her first and hopefully last scheduled headlining performance of her career. Some students hypothesize that she will bring out some surprise guests, including Charli xcx, Madonna and her mom. Rae’s song “Diet Pepsi” was a certified summer hit of 2024 and went viral on TikTok.
Other artists that ACE reached out to reportedly included JoJo Siwa, The Cotsco Guys & The Rizzler, and Bob Dylan. Siwa actually accepted the offer, but ACE rescinded it after saying she was “unnervingly way too excited about it. Something was definitely up.” ACE is still waiting for a response from Dylan’s team.
Rae is reportedly excited to pre-game at the townhouses and find out what the Hulett and Jencks suites are. While it is ultimately disappointing that NLE Choppa canceled on us, we should all be grateful for ACE’s hard work to find another suitable Springfest performer for SLU. Let’s be real, we all “need a bad bleep, Addison Rae, lil’ shawty the baddest, yeah, and she got her ways.”