When You Grow Out of Caring Too Much

As I get older (I just turned 20 on Thursday), I more frequently find myself agreeing with things my parents told me when I was younger. As a kid, I remember getting dressed in full ski gear to go out in the Pennsylvania winter, but I hated having to dress in hand-me-downs from my siblings. We had bright red, green and even full neon rainbow jackets and a pair of baggy purple snow pants. I assume those were chosen less as a fashion statement by my siblings and more as my parents trying to make sure they didn’t lose any of us in the snow, but I remember protesting the atrocious combination of colors because I was worried about what other people would think. I wanted all the cool snow gear that everyone else had. But my dad would remind me, “When you get older, you won’t care what other people think because there are more important things than worrying about it.” I always thought that this was stupid. I thought, of course, older people don’t care; what did they have to lose? They already had friends and just wanted to be comfortable. I thought that not caring what other people thought of me was something that I’d have to wait well into my adulthood to get rid of.   

But now I find myself returning to what my dad said over and over, earlier than I thought I would. I’m not saying I have somehow magically found a way to stop caring about what other people think of me, but my perspective has begun to change as I try to feel more comfortable in my own self, I’ve realized a very important thing. One of the worst things you can do is yuck another person’s yum.   

Listen, I know I’m not a saint, although technically, at St. Lawrence University, I am a Saint. We have all made fun of people before, whether directly to a friend’s face or behind a complete stranger’s back. Sometimes, a yuck of someone’s yum just falls right out of our mouths. Honestly, it’s something I need to work on myself.   

Because the thing is, when someone is confident enough in themselves or passionate enough to share their thoughts out loud, finally wear that one outfit they’ve been scared to, or perform on stage after months of practicing, one of the worst things you can do is bring that excitement down. I think that we have all had those moments where we worked up to being confident enough to do something, and then the yucking came from someone else. And the yuck of someone else can often overpower the yum that you had.   

I know that is not the most graceful of explanations, but you get the point, hopefully. That moment when you try something new or show something you’ve been excited about, and then someone doesn’t give you the same energy back, can deteriorate the confidence you worked so hard for. It tells them that you don’t respect what they have done or are doing, something they may be passionate about or have been scared to do. Even the simple act of telling someone that their favorite hobby is stupid or that the music they listen to isn’t cool enough can be a big yuck on someone’s important yum.  

I don’t know if this is something that all adults come to realize or if this was even what my dad had in mind when he told me that as I got older, I would realize that there are more important things than worrying about what people think of you. All I know is that as I learn to be more confident in who I truly am and try to stop caring about what others may be thinking of me, the one thing that can really get me down is when someone yucks my yum. So, take this as a sign to try not to yuck people’s yums, and most importantly, wear the snow gear that will keep you warm and do not worry what the other kids in the neighborhood might think of you.