April Fools:Theme House Tea
With the theme house applications finalized for the Fall 2024 semester, many students, especially theme community members, are on edge to see the outcomes. Here are some of the dirty deets of next year’s changes in Theme Houses.
As some of you may know, the Sustainability Program is ending. Many students are wondering, “what is the future to the farm program?” This question has gone unanswered for too long. Many rumors have arisen, but the most unexpected outcome will have you shaking in your boots. The Sustainability Program is going to become its very own theme house! Awesome… right? Well, what about the Greenhouse? A house focused on sustainable practices, low impact living, and local food systems. Wouldn’t two houses about that be a bit too much? Well, what if they combined? That’s right, folks; the Sustainability Program and the Greenhouse are going to COMBINE into one, big, happy and sustainable theme house!!! Woooohooooooooo!
But wait, where will they live? The Greenhouse? Couldn’t be! That house can only fit 11 people. Not enough space for two programs. So where will they live? I regret to inform you all of the loss of our beloved theme house, Commons College. The new Sustainable Theme House will be moving into Commons house. The one with big, white pillars. This is for several reasons. Sufficient spacing for the two programs, large and industrial style kitchen, large communal space for meal sharing and food preserving, and lastly, the underused Permaculture Garden directly behind the building. This will allow the programs to plant their own garden right in their backyard and use those veggies for their weekly dinners. Get ready for some GREEN parties!
So what is going to happen to Commons? Common is planned to become a theme floor, most likely on the third floor of Sykes. Who doesn’t love a good dorm floor party? Some other drastic changes include Habitat for Humanity moving into the Campus Kitchen House to increase their number of members. Campus Kitchens will move into the Greenhouse after renovations, due to dangerous smells within the house. Lighthouse is on probation for the next school year due to too many nudists’ parties. The Outing Club is also on probation for the next school year due to destruction of property within their house and surrounding yard. Renovations are forthcoming. As for the Arts Annex and Artist’s Guild, they will decide their housing decisions in a jousting tournament hosted on the Kirk Quad.