April Fools

It is no secret that American democracy is falling apart. From rampant government spending to a near collapse in the banking system, our government is a failure. American democracy has delegitimized itself. However, there are still many…

Cowboys vs Buccaneers. The highlight of my semester was supposed to be watching the first Sunday Night Football with my brothers after a long week of grinding Econ 100 and Intro to Business while my parents watched me blow money from afar…

Just as students were coming back to campus from a refreshing spring break and settling in to tackle the last of the semester, shocking news gripped campus, as personal communications of high-level campus administrators were leaked to the…

The University has recently announced a slate of new projects coming to campus in the next few years. Although no timeline has been released, administrators say the projects are likely to be completed the year after you graduate. However,…

This toilet has a secret pink elixer in it. If you find it on campus and drink from it, you will live forever. Photo credit: Alden Timm '25 Extra clean, shout out Art's Annex custodian Tamara! Photo credit: Alex Dent '25

As spring break came to a close, Dubbers returned to 3 University like every other year. Giggles, gossip, and glitter filled the air and our hearts as we assembled for our final stretch of school. While we felt comforted by our reunion…

There is a cliché saying that all good things must eventually come to an end. Fortunately for us, that repetitive cliché won’t apply. The Thelomathesian Society was right. The Hill News has long poisoned the eyes of our readership. So much…

Across campus, a hush can be felt. This hush, this silence, is not one quiet of words but of a lack of a significant presence. Walking through the streets and buildings familiar sights seem to disappear daily. Once a specific copyrighted…