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April Fools: Bye Bye St. Lawrence, Hello St. Teresa
St. Lawrence University just dropped breaking news in what was its last news release under the same name. Wednesday evening, SLU leadership announced that starting this April 2024, SLU will become St. Teresa University. The name change…
April Fools: Professors Mourn the Loss of Their Jobs to Chat GPT
St. Lawrence University is removing all current professors at the school to help with budget cuts. After the news of SLU’s public $11.5 million debt, major changes were needed.
A recent announcement was made by Kate Morris, president of…
April Fools: Banana Splits Believers Save Lives One Banana at a Time
Forget apples! Research done by St. Lawrence students proves that it is actually bananas— more specifically, banana splits— that are the key to a longer, healthier and more fulfilling life.
The banana provides essential…
April Fools: Finding Friends
Considering how closely-knit the community at St. Lawrence University is, it is not hard to randomly bump into the same person over and over again. Look in from the outside, and you might hear us faintly singing Kumbaya together. Pay…
April Fools: Solar Eclipse is Cancelled: Results of a Lack of Funding for the Moon-Related Hoax
The Hill News was shocked early Friday morning when several top-secret student government documents were leaked to the all-knowing, reliable social media community, YikYak. The scathing reports detailed a failed contingency fund request…
Budget Cuts Needed Due to Record Low Enrollment
St. Lawrence University’s enrollment is down 3.5 percent from the fall semester, dipping the institution’s student body below 2,000 for the first time this decade, announced administrators Monday at a faculty town hall event. This…
Fasting During Ramadan
About 20 students confirmed via email that they were going to be fasting during Ramadan according to Megan Putney, the assistant director of International Student Services and advisor to the Islamic Culture Club. The actual number of…
Learning to Ski Before Titus
Titus, an annual event hosted by the Outing Club every March, is advertised primarily to those who ski or snowboard. In order to make this event more inclusive and something all should enjoy, the OC named a DEI Titus Chair: someone who…