Things I can spend $1200 on if I could actually get it:
- 200 Chicken & Cheese Pub Quesadillas
- Elkay LZS8WSLK EZH2O Bottle Filling Station with Single ADA Cooler, Filtered, 8 GPH, Light Gray
- Zoom Pro for 80 Whole Months
- A Lawn Roomba
- 1,111 Coffee Refills at Brewer Bookstore (#caribouforlife)
- 40 Titus Tickets (too soon?)
- 138 Fat Bags
- A Ton of Bagels…This isn’t hyperbole, I think I could probably get a ton of bagels.
- Idk like one fifty-seventh of my tuition
- Like 3 Gucci Belts, Dude.
- Lots of Spicy Water
- FORTY YEARS OF GOLF MAGAZINE
- My Study Abroad Down Payment Without Worry (too real?)
- Probs Some Twitter Clout
- More Tattoos (I Am Severely Needing a Coverup)
- Dirt Bike @agehl
- 1/267th of a house (based on the average cost of a house in NYS…yikes)
- 800 Pub Cookies
My Books For Future Semesters (Ugh, also too real)- Half the Vera Bradley Wall @ Brewer Bookstore
- A Nintendo Switch AND Animal Crossing
- Tickets to That Tiger Place IDK I Haven’t Watched Tiger King Yet
- A Donation Bernie (I KNOW that man would’ve given me my $1200)
- So Many Tapestries It Would Be a Guaranteed Fire Hazard
- More The Hill News Staff Hoodies (xoxo)
- Therapy, Bro (normalize it folks)
- Cardboard Cut Out of The Ice Age Baby So I Could Punch It (@Niamh, @Cole, @Maddie)
- Get Snoop Dogg To Tell Me He’s Proud of Me (No, really)
- An Entire Movie Theater For Myself (Once they reopen! #flattenthecurve) So That I Don’t Feel Bad Crying at A24 Films
- Some Cool Earrings…My Dream
Anyways, I can’t get any of that because I’m not deemed worthy of receiving the $1,200, despite being a taxpayer who lost her job. What would you buy? Comment please; I want to know and laugh in these weird times.
I personally would purchase a cardboard cut out of the ice age baby and treat it with kindness and respect every human deserves