When is it REALLY the Best Time to Wear a Striped Sweater?

The age-old question has come to St Lawrence University’s campus at last. When is it really the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time? Only with a collar, turtleneck? Never? Or is there some specific occasion that calls for one to don a lined garment? Spongebob posed this question in 2002, and it has long been unanswered. Well, this Hill News reporter turned to social media to find out.

Believing in the power of democracy and that those in our community have the right to vote on serious matters such as these, I started a poll. Using Facebook and Instagram, I polled a select number of individuals, or those who chose to participate in this scientific experiment, via my social media. I set up the polls with four options to answer the question: “always,” “turtleneck,” “never,” or “other.” I opened the polls at 11:00 p.m. on Tuesday and closed them at 11:00 a.m. Wednesday morning. Given this brief amount of time, I was able to locate the times in which the most people were using social media—late at night.

The results were, to say the least, shocking. Out of the 77 individuals who voted, 53, or 69 percent said that the best time to wear a striped sweater was “always.” Only five people voted, 6 percent, that in addition to the sweater being striped it has to have a collar, specifically a turtleneck to be worn. As for the two dissenting opinions, seven people, 9 people, said that the best time to wear a striped sweater is “never,” and 12 voters, 16 percent, said “other.” A detailed visualization of the results is shown in the accompanying photo.

The data speak for what the people want in a sweater, however, I was still unsatisfied with my findings. I desperately wanted to see what people thought of striped sweaters. Now taking the striped sweater issue personally, I took to the Pub to ask around.

Some students shared the seriousness of the debate with me. Alyssa Forte ’19 said that “I thought very carefully, twice, before I submitted my poll.” Others were astounded, just as I was, by the outcome. “Wow! Who knew everyone was so passionate about striped sweaters?” said Kerrianne Belline ’19.

I guess the people and Spongebob are right. “If your sweaters aren’t striped are you sure you’re even wearing them?” said Dr. Sarah Barber.