Dear Laurentian Community,
Finding out about the awful tragedy of Luke’s death last week was likely the first time many of us have had to cope with such shocking news. I know his close friends will do justice testifying to the incredible nature of his character, so I write this letter to help those, like myself, who find more comfort grieving using the written word rather than talking.
How to properly grieve is still a mystery to me. Death seemed like something only reserved for the elderly and villains of Hollywood films. The thought never crossed my mind that someone I had class with and would say “hello” to would suddenly be gone. It is hard to comprehend how someone who brought joy and life to this community could become stuck in time- memorialized in black and white photos and written tributes within a matter of moments. No one expects any friend or colleague so young to end up in a “In Memory” email.
The scariest part is that this happened to someone like all of us. When something like this strikes so close to home, there is a sense that it just could have easily happened to any of us or any other close friend. Survivor’s guilt can be an ever-present storm cloud.
One friend of Luke’s told me, “I don’t get it, he was such a good person. He had so much potential.” It is a feeling that the world and other people have been robbed of what could have been, and that it is incredibly unjust for this to happen to such a nice person. These are a few of the many reasons why this news is so sad.
What do we do to deal with such a tragedy? Do we cry and hug it out until we feel good enough to move on? Is it okay to continue everyday life by going to class and doing work, or is that practicing a form of denial like nothing happened? Right now, I feel as if Luke has merely left school, but this comes with the sense of guilt that I have not properly addressed his loss. Trying to find the right way to grieve is like summiting a mountain without trails: it’s challenge without a right answer. It is easy to feel frustrated, lost, and confused.
You may ask why I claim to offer comfort and yet offer no answers, but it is my hope to convey to those who feel distraught and unsure on how to exactly grieve that you are not alone. We are all figuring out how to work through and come to terms with this loss. Luke represented the Laurentian community so well because he was a caring and supportive person, and I have no doubt that we will follow his example in helping each other as we reflect how to move forward.
With Love and Support,
Travis Hamre