April Fools: Confidential Campus Plans Leaked on WhatsApp

By Pete Hegseth Last updated Mar 31, 2025

Sneak peak of the leaked plans to construct an on-campus coal plant to power SLU’s Appleton Arena.

St. Lawrence Administrators are under fire after a breach in security that leaked plans to construct an on-campus coal plant to power SLU’s Appleton Arena. The breach occurred when SLU Communications Minister Mike Gagliardi mistakenly added The Hill News Editor-in-Chief Matt Serrano ’26 to a private WhatsApp group.

In the chat, SLU President Kathyrn Morris, going by the username “Big Kate,” revealed plans to construct the new coal plant, presumably to make up the infrastructure gap created when SLU’s steam heating plant exploded last month. “I’m looking to make a move,” wrote Morris. “Donors will like [it].”

Evidence of the shocking texts that were accidentally leaked by SLU admin. PHOTO CREDIT: THE SURVEILLANCE STATE

SLU Vice President of Student Life Jon Duraj, also in the chat, approved of Morris’s plan to power the hockey rink. “If you think we should do it, let’s go,” said Duraj. “I’m just happy the poor hockey players will finally get something nice… regular students have it all and bitch too much.”

Mattheas Dale ’26 said he is embarrassed to be a student after learning of the leaked chats. “This place is going down faster than fall of 2022,” said Dale. “I would prefer that if my admins are going to shit talk me that they at least use Telegram or even Signal.”

Franco Bari, who oversees the hockey rink as director of athletics, suggested a strategic halt of work on the new coal plant. “The question is timing,” said Bari. “Maybe wait to break ground [until after] the new class visits.”

Bari’s comments were slightly edited from their original form for clarity.

Gagliardi, who added Serrano to the WhatsApp chat, owned up to the mistake on Tuesday when reporters questioned him in the parking lot as he got into his lifted diesel F-350 with a crew cab and bed cover. “Yeah, I added the kid; what’s it to ya?” he said. “Can’t you see I’m trying to drive home?”

Gagliardi played a minimal role in the chat. However, he presumably agreed as well, responding with a now YikYak viral emoji group featuring a flame emoji, a fist, and a squirrel ()

The Hill News reached out to the offices of Morris, Bari and Duraj to request further comment. Morris and Bari did not return any communication. Duraj called our office after hours and was sent to voicemail, where he left a message that can only be described as a clap of Dana Taco Bar flatulence. He could be heard laughing before he hung up the line.

Karl Spieker, SLU’s financial leadman, has been a Morris loyalist since he came to the university. When confronted at the Stadium Sports Bar on East Main St. Spieker said, “There is nothing to these bogus claims brought forth by The Hill News about the lack of administrative security.” “There is nothing wrong with leaking administrative secrets to The Hill News so they can better inform the student body on the inner workings of the administration they pay over $80,000 to be administered by.”