Hey kids. Today, we’re getting hot and heavy. We know you’ve all been waiting for this one: threesomes. Whether having a threesome is on your TO DO ASAP list, or just your typical Friday night happenings, the idea of the threesome itself holds some kind of cultural significance. I’m here to tell you that your curiosity is great, it’s normal, it’s dope, and if you’re not curious, that’s great too.
For those of you who are, I’ve got the inside scoop. The 411. The b-b-b-breakdown. Well, more or less, I had a threesome that was funny and light-hearted, but also super respectful and, for three super immature fuckers, mature. So, I’ve culminated my knowledge into three steps for a sex-positive, fun threesome!
Step One: Consent! Ask, ask, ask, don’t ever forget to ask. Threesomes can feel like a high-pressure situation. I mean, if your friend approaches you and says, “We should totally have a threesome with that person over there, they are so cute, and I’ve always wanted to do this, like I’ve waited my whole life for this moment, and they’re totally into it. So, you want to, right?” It can be hard to say no to that. On that note, if you’re uncomfortable, say no! Your friend will find someone else who is interested. If all parties say yes, you’re off to the races.
Step two: Communicate. This threesome will be so much more enjoyable if you skip the whole guess and check method. There’s no right way to go about this, so just say what feels good and what doesn’t. Make everyone feel involved.
Step three: Don’t have expectations. It’s okay to be disappointed. Just go into it with an open mind and open legs. It might not be the best night of your life. Maybe two of you will have great chemistry. Maybe none of you will. Maybe you’ll all just start laughing at each other and scramble to put your clothes back on, which is sort of what happened in my case. Either way, you never know what you’re going to get and that might be part of the allure.
Stay sexy, saints. And if you have any further questions regarding threesomes or sex-positivity or awkward nights or really anything at all, you know where to find me. 3 University. Free condoms at the door. Lube coming soon.
Signing off,
Hill News Sex Therapist.