Dear Dub: Let’s (Pillow) Talk About… Sex Toys!
As a member of the Dub, I find myself talking about sex more than the average Joe. Whether it’s over Dana brunch (as I am sure many of you do), or in our living room on a Tuesday night, sex is something our house loves to converse/sing/yell about! Just when I felt a little too comfortable talking about sex, someone brought up something that has always been super taboo for me – sex toys. In my high school sex education, my health teacher could barely cough up the word labia let alone tell me how I should clean my strap on to prevent STI’s. The idea of using a sex toy, especially in conjunction with a good amount of internalized homophobia, felt dirty to me. Living in the Dub however, has made me realize how common sex toys are, not only for personal use but for partner pleasure. This has empowered me so much as to suggest we create an entire Sex Toy WeekTM, raffling off toys like the sparkly pink butt plug in the middle of the pub. Sex education is not only necessary for your health but is oh so liberating. Here are some FAQs about sex toys that I hope help to both empower and inspire you! Xoxo, the Dub.
What is the best sex toy retailer?
There are so many awesome options out there for where you can find your sex toys! The Dub has proudly purchased our toys for this week’s raffle from Bellesa, a female owned sex-toy/porn company that prides itself on female pleasure and ethical sex work. A couple other retailers we love include RodeoH, which specializes in strap-on and pride themed toys, Maude or Dame, who offer minimalistic and discrete styled toys, many of which don’t even look like sex toys at all. Another great option to check out is Etsy, not only can you find small businesses here, but you can also find some of the most unique and sometimes customizable handmade toys! The main thing to consider when purchasing sex toys is if your toy is going to give you the pleasure you’re looking for and if it was made and distributed ethically. Have fun and feel free to let us know if you stumble across any other awesome companies.
What’s the best way to clean them?
I’ll admit it, I can last a few days without showering, and on occasion, I don’t brush my teeth before bed. I am by no means the epitome of hygiene. One thing I am absolutely adamite about however, is cleaning sex toys! Not cleaning your toys is not only gross but can be dangerous for yours and potential partner(s) health. Failure to clean toys can lead to bacteria build up and even for the toy to rot. Even worse, these things can give folks UTIs, yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis and STI’s depending on who is using the toy. Here are a few tips and tricks on how you and your partners can have fun and stay healthy!
Cleaning your toys mostly depends on the material they are made of! Ideally, you should purchase a sex toy made of a non-porous material. Porous sex toys have a permeable surface that can harvest bacteria, sometimes contain chemicals that are harmful to your health, and ultimately cannot be fully sterilized. Below are some tips for cleaning toys of all kinds, one thing to note for toys of all materials is if your toy is electric, be sure you are careful when washing/submerging in water.
Here are some tips of how to clean porous toys:
- Rubber – arguably the most difficult material to clean, rubber toys can be rinsed in warm water, but a condom should always be used.
- Cyberskin and Vinyl – often used for dildos, wash only with warm water, air dry and powder with a very small amount of corn starch to prevent them from getting sticky.
- Nylon – typically used for harnesses, nylon toys can be machine or hand was with a mild anti-bacterial soap, such as Meyers!
Here are some tips on how to clean non-porous toys:
- Glass – often used for toys such as butt plugs, wash glass toys with water and antibacterial soap, again Meyers Soap is a great option as it is natural! Avoid exposing the glass to extreme temperatures as this may lead to cracking… you do not want shards of glass anywhere near your genitals.
- Stainless Steel – being mindful of electrical components you can actually put these suckers right in the dishwasher (using antibacterial soap), boil, or soak in a 10% bleach-water solution for 10 minutes.
- Hard Plastic – clean with antibacterial soap and water, do not boil as these babies can melt!
- Silicone – the most common material for sex toys, these toys can be cleaned again by dishwashing (with antibacterial soap, on the top rack), boiling for 5-10 minutes, or by hand washing with warm water and antibacterial. *Do not boil silicone vibrators as this will destroy the oh so amazing vibrating mechanism!
What are the best sex toys for two-person play?
Sex toys are awesome for personal fun but can spice up things up in the bedroom with a partner! Options such as strap-ons are a classic for women loving women but are also a great option for straight couples looking to explore new options. Some less well-known options include partner whales, cock rings, remote controlled vibrators, and couples’ vibrators. Pretty much all toys can be used with a partner – the keys to good sex are consent, communication, and creativity!
What sex toys are best for beginners?
This is a hard question because it all depends on what your sexual experiences have been, what you like in bed, and what your price range is. If you’re looking for a low commitment, “trial-run” type toy I would recommend a vibrator! Vibrators come in a bunch of shapes and sizes and are not limited to people with vaginas. Bellesa offers some great beginner options including the buzzfeed airvibe, buzzfeed pebble, diskreet air which are great for people with vaginas and can also be used on butts… just be sure to clean your toy between using them anally and on your genitals. Another vibrator option that not many people know about is a cock ring! Bellesa also offers one of these called the “Halo” and is a great option for folks with penises.