Today, I am angry. I am angry as I watch another “me too” scrawl across my Facebook newsfeed. I am angry as I watch friends, family, acquaintances rehash their traumas in an effort to bring awareness to an all too pervasive issue. I am angry because two simple words “me too” – hold a meaning for me that I wish they did not.
I am angry today, but not because the pervasiveness of sexual assault has suddenly dawned on me. I am angry because I have recognized the frequency of sexual violence for years, as I’m sure the majority of readers have.
I am angry because I still don’t understand why we must put a face to sexual violence before we can tackle it. Why must it be our mother, our sister, our cousin, our brother, before we talk about the reality? 1 in 3 women and 1 in 7 men will experience sexual violence in their lifetime, yet we continue to disregard the issue, and wait until we are hit head on with a glaring admission of victimhood by those we love.
Rape culture is not some untouchable entity existing outside of our minds, and our selves. All of us contribute to rape culture; all of us contribute to the patriarchy. I myself have contributed to both of these. I have seen individuals too drunk to stand having tongues forced down their throats, and I have looked away. I have made derogatory comments about other women because of the way they dressed, and the people they went home with. I call myself a feminist, but I know damn well that I have perpetuated the very things I fight so hard to surmount.
And I am angry because I know I am not the only one who has done this. We have all remained silent when we should have screamed, looked down when we should have involved ourselves. We have all contributed to the abasement of others, as well as to the degradation of our own moral characters.
As product of the patriarchy, rape culture harms each and every individual on this planet, regardless of sexual orientation, race, class, or gender. Still, people recoil at the concept of ‘feminism,’ at the idea that men, women, and all gender non-conforming individuals should be treated equally.
Rather than attempting to rectify the injustices for all, which are perpetuated by the patriarchy, though, instead individuals rally behind a historically popular archetype: the helpless white, middle-class women being victimized by society. It’s the same issue that plagues the discussion of the gender wage gap, with white feminists too often citing the 79 cents to a dollar, but forgetting that women of color make significantly less than their 79 cents.
We have to stop forgetting the intersections if we are to make any leeway in the fight against sexual violence, because the truth is that all individuals, males, females, transgender peoples, whites, and people of color, are possible victims for sexual violence. In fact, people of color and the LGBTQ community are even more likely to be faced with sexual violence than white, heterosexual peoples, something that is often forgotten in public rhetoric.
Too often, we clamor loudly against the rape of women by men on college campuses, but forget the assaults that do not fit our stereotypes, those committed by women against women or against men entirely. If we are to begin an effective effort to tackle the issue of sexual violence, then we must recognize sexual violence in all its manifestations. We cannot continue to spout the same rhetoric employed by 1970s white middle-class feminists in their campaigns against sexual violence, all the while ignoring the countless others who do not fit into this classist, white-dominated world.
Today, I am angry, and tomorrow I will likely be angry too, but I am hopeful that the day will come where I am no longer in need of such anger. I am hopeful that there will come a day when you don’t have to hear “me too” pouring from the mouth of a friend or family member in order to take recognition of the issue of sexual violence.