April Fools: SLU to Cut Down Enchanted Forest

St. Lawrence University’s Board of Trustees has vowed to cut down the Enchanted Forest by May 1. The move comes as the University attempts to balance its student-to-tree ratio following enrollment decline.    

SLU currently has around 2,400 trees on campus. However, the University has just 1,966 students enrolled this semester. SLU President Kathyrn Morris believes that deforestation is the obvious response to SLU’s enrollment woes. “We used to have a perfect 1-to-1 student-to-tree ratio here; it said it on the admissions website,” she said. “We would never lie to our prospective customers, so cutting down some trees to match the number of students just makes sense.”  

The Enchanted Forest is the name given to the cluster of trees outside of Herring-Cole Hall. According to SLU, each tree was planted to represent a graduating class, meaning there should be around 167 of them. “The Enchanted Forest alone won’t get us exactly where we need to be,” said Morris. “But we’re working hard to start cutting the Avenue of The Elms as well.”  

SLU plans to use the lumber generated from the cutting to produce paper. Board of Trustees President, Michael Ranger ’80, says making paper on campus will help alleviate SLU’s $11.5 million deficit. “So many publications at St. Lawrence have struggled to afford paper and printing over the last few years,” he said. “We figured that if we’re cutting down the enchanted forest, we might as well use the wood to produce paper on campus and slash some of that cost.”  

Ranger estimated that this move will save the University around $14,000 annually. “I know people won’t think that’s a lot of money,” he said. “But that could actually pay for like two and a half weeks of education for one student here, so I think that’s pretty substantial.”   

SLU plans to repurpose the Alpha Tau Omega fraternity house into a paper mill to process the lumber into paper. “We had a lot of space open up over there and can’t really afford to put it anywhere else,” said Vice President of Finance and Administration Karl Spiecker. “So, it was the natural choice.”  

ATO members still living in the house can work at the mill for $9.50 an hour. It will be the highest non-dining-services salary a student can get on campus. “The boys will get a nice, safe work experience right in their living room,” said Spiecker. “It’s seeming like a win-win to me.”    

The University is looking to balance the ratio before commencement in May. “We really want the parents to see the efforts we’re making as soon as possible,” said Morris. “I want them to see that progress is happening all over campus and that their money is well spent.”   

SLU has yet to reveal plans for what will occupy the space where the Enchanted Forest currently stands. However, many have speculated that the University will erect a large, burgundy-colored sign that says, “April Fools.”