“Pub” and “Sushi” is not just a combination from a fever dream of yours: It’s a real thing. A very real thing. Surely, you’ve seen it. It likes to situate itself along the back wall in the fridge, waiting for some soul to snatch it up and eat it.
But have you ever actually eaten this pub sushi? Have you really given it a chance? Or have you, like so many others, just anxiously avoided it? People seemingly think that if they don’t acknowledge that it exists that it will just go away, but it isn’t that easy. I decided to be the brave soul that will put my stomach on the line to rip some sushi at the pub.
When I first arrived, there was a large crowd congregating in the pub. It was a Wednesday afternoon after all and all of campus wanted to make sure that they got their strips of fire. I took a couple glances around to make sure no one that I knew was about to see me take the sushi out of the fridge. So, I decided to play it cool, I tried to look at the sushi like a kid would look at a giraffe in the zoo, waiting for the right time to reach out and touch it.
But my plan was foiled, the glass door that housed the fishy surprise was foggy, and seeing the options was extremely difficult. So, I knew I had to do it. The door swung open and a cool breeze blew my hair back, as the moisture in the air dissipated the sushi became visible. It felt like I was being born again.
Suddenly a feeling of pressure fell over me, there was more than one option. I now had a difficult choice to make, California rolls or king crab roll. Seeing a penny stuck to the ground, I decided to pick it up and let it’s 50-50 odds make the decision for me. Heads was California. Tails was crab. A quick flip up in the air and the penny was back on the ground where It was originally from. Heads. California Dreaming baby!
I took the sushi out of the fridge and held it tight to my body, trying to conceal it as I walked to the register. I plopped the container in front of the worker and his expression instantly changed. I felt like I was at a funeral. He scanned it. I swiped my card. I ran away.
I was now sitting in the corner of my room; the anxiety was even worse now. But I had the sushi. With truly little hesitation I plowed the sushi into my mouth. Devouring every bit of it, even the wasabi. The flavor took my mouth by storm. I could taste the ocean of coastal California with every bite. It was like a porpoise swimming around inside of me. I felt cured of all the stress getting the fish caused me. I felt that I had transcended some plain of reality.
If my testimony teaches you anything I sure hope that it is do not be afraid to try the pub sushi. It will take care of you, it will deliver you, I promise.