April Fools: THN Paper Sourced Locally

By The Once-Ler Last updated Mar 31, 2025

The tree felling begins on campus! PHOTO CREDIT: ALDEN TIMMMMMMMMMM

Due to significant budget cuts, The Hill News will now make its own paper sourced from the trees on campus.

“We are really excited and proud of our team for coming up with this idea,” said Editor-in-Chief Matt Serrano ’26. After a four-hour editorial board meeting last week, the team decided to make their own paper. Serrano is also a member of the Outing Club, which will be teaming up with THN to oversee the felling of the trees. “It was easy to get the OC to help out; they love nature,” said Serrano.

The suggestion for using campus trees came from the Environmental Studies department. After another lengthy meeting with the department, they gave THN permission to start cutting down trees on the Avenue of the Elms. Once the trees there are no longer of use, they will start felling trees on the Saddlemire Trail.

Since the newspaper will now be homemade, there will be a new look to the well-known THN. “We wanted to go for a more rustic look,” said Noah Donellan-Doser ’39, managing editor of THN. The hope is to bring a little more of that liberal arts and Adirondack feel to the paper. “You know those projects you had in elementary school to make a letter look old by pouring coffee on it? That’s the vibes we’re going for,” he said.

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However cost-efficient this will be, it will mean a lot of extra work for the staff. They will have to chop the trees down, cut them up, and blend them. This will be done in small batches due to the shortage of blenders on campus. Making enough paper for one edition of THN could take upwards of a week. Patrick Chase ‘25, the former Features editor for THN, quit once he learned his new job was to watch the paper dry. “A watched piece of paper never dries; I’ve been saying that for years,” said Chase.

However, other students are excited about this change. “I love homemade paper; it gives things a homey feel. The chunkier the paper, the better,” said Tori Ledoux ‘27. Ledoux is a long-time fan of THN and an expert in paper making. “If I don’t find pine needles on the front page, I’ll be disappointed,” said Ledoux.

THN hopes they will accomplish this new process while still publishing each week. They have divided their days into five-hour shifts, which include jobs such as dead tree scouter, blender button pusher, squirrel hair removal, and security. “Honestly, we are looking forward to more sleepless nights in the media office,” said Serrano.