Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University
Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University

Things I’d Rather Do Than Rewatch “Peppermint”

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Things I’d rather do than rewatch “Peppermint:” scrape a cheese grater along my face, watch any Adam Sandler film, wait in line at the post office, etc.  The film is terrible, needless to say, so anytime terrible is not used as an adjective—just insert it yourself. While watching this movie you will become aware of how lazy this film is.  And I mean lazy; it’s like the screenwriter was given an exercise in laziness and passed with an A+. Now you’re probably thinking: what is the plot of “Peppermint?” I could attempt to describe it as an action film, but really it’s more akin to a mystery movie because there are so many plot holes and inconsistencies that you will have to piece together what is happening yourself.  

What’s worse is that this film is supposed to be an “action” movie—a cross between “Taken” and “Sicario.”  You won’t notice this is an “action” film until 50 minutes in, when you’re greeted with the only thing that I’m willing to call an action scene.  I’m going to guess this sequence was a reshoot after they had to wake the test audience up during the initial one. But then again, I doubt they cared enough to bother with a test audience.  And while watching this you will encounter scenes that look they were ripped straight off from much better movies like “Sicario,” minus any of the talent or joy from those scenes.

The film is your basic revenge plot involving Jennifer Garner as she gets her revenge against the Mexican cartel for the murders of her husband and daughter.  The twist with this film is that unlike “Taken,” “John Wick,” “Man on Fire,” or “Lady Vengeance” you will not be shown any action scenes except for the aftermath of said action scene.  You will quite literally have to guess what is happening at all times. In one instance, the film jumps forward five years with no discernible way of gathering this information other than having assumed so.  And then, six minutes later a character says, “five years ago…”. This film is LAZY. Extremely lazy. How this movie even had a budget of $25 million should be the real mystery because it certainly wasn’t spent on the atrocious acting of the two lead detectives, any of the “action” pieces which looked they required the agility of an 80-year-old to complete, and definitely not on Chad St. John—the most pathetic excuse for a screenwriter since the computer was invented.

Grade: 0.07/10

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