The Season That Never Was

The word cancelled appears seventeen times on the women’s lacrosse 2020 schedule, twenty-four times for baseball. It is repeated over and over again on the schedules of every other spring sports team too. All of them a harsh reminder of the season that never was. 

Morgan Barlow ’20, a captain for the women’s lacrosse team, recalls the Tuesday afternoon when she received the news that would change the trajectory of the season ahead. She was in the locker room after practice when Head Coach Hannah Corkery read President Fox’s email to her team. 

“When I heard the word remote I just started crying,” said Morgan. “I didn’t hear anything else. I knew it was over.” 

Mike Cubello ’20, an outfielder on the baseball team, was in the batting cage with a few of his teammates preparing for their spring training trip to Florida that was just under a week away when he saw the email. 

“I personally remember just feeling so utterly shocked,” said Mike. “I didn’t react much right away because I just couldn’t believe it. My senior year was slowly crumbling away between my fingertips and there was absolutely nothing I could do to save it.” 

Both Mike and Morgan had been looking forward to wearing a Saints jersey for one last season and closing out their St. Lawrence careers with the much anticipated Senior Day tradition before the COVID-19 pandemic ended their season early. 

“My siblings weren’t even going to come to graduation,” said Morgan, who wore number 10 for the Saints. Both her brother and sister live in Denver, Colorado. “I had told them I’d rather have them here for Senior Day.” 

Senior Day is meant to honor that year’s graduating class and help bring them closure as their collegiate careers come to an end. But closure was something many did not get this year after the NCAA cancelled all spring sports, leaving Saints like Morgan and Mike devastated. 

“I was absolutely crushed that I wasn’t able to experience my Senior Day moment, or play a [last] game at Tom Fay Field in front of a home crowd,” said Mike, who wore number 31. “It’s still tough for me to accept.” 

And when college careers ended abruptly just weeks into the season, so too did the game day rituals that had come to mean so much. 

“I always wash my hair the morning of game day,” said Morgan. She spoke in the present, as though the season that was supposed to be just beginning hadn’t yet been stripped away. 

“Every single game?” I asked. 

“Every game,” she reassured me. “Even in the hotel. Then I put my hair into a ponytail with four brand new hair ties. Always four, and always new. Then I add a scrunchy.” 

“The red one?” I imagined the large, glistening red scrunchy from photographs I’d seen on her Instagram and the Saints Athletics game recaps. 

“Either red or white,” she concluded. “Depending on how I’m feeling that day.” 

For most, recognizing the last home game of the season as a senior is reason to relish in the moment a few seconds longer, to do those pregame rituals with a bit more attention, one last time. But for both Mike and Morgan, that chance never came. 

“I would always close my eyes during the national anthem and talk to myself positively,” said Mike without any hesitation. I pictured the outfielders, standing shoulder to shoulder facing the flag, their hats gently placed across their chests, the way I’d seen them at games the season before. “I always finished with a small prayer before putting my hat back on,” he concluded. 

“Would it be okay if I included that in my story?” I asked. 

“Go for it,” he said. “Everything played its part and shaped me into who I am today.” 

It had only been one week since learning that there would be no season. I couldn’t help thinking about that moment of stillness when the anthem is just ending, but before the crowd erupts and what that must have felt like for Mike. How hard that must be to think about now. 

No one could have known that the second double header of their season, played away at Rowan University in Glassboro, New Jersey, would be the last time Mike would stand for the national anthem with his hat against his chest and say a pregame prayer. And in her game day routine for a match up against Worcester State University in Worcester, Massachusetts, also just their second game of the season, Morgan washed her hair and put it up with four brand new hair ties for the last time. In what would be her final collegiate lacrosse game, Morgan wore her white scrunchy. 

Having a game or race or competition be one’s last without even knowing it is something no one anticipates, and yet that is exactly what happened for so many. “My heart just broke for the seniors,” said Coach Hannah. “The team is rightfully sad and disappointed but their ability to come together and support each other to be positive and excited for the upcoming season while also showing their love and support for the seniors is remarkable,” she added. Despite the sad and unexpected ending to their senior seasons, Saints are taking adversity in stride. 

“It was an absolute honor and such a blessing to be able to represent St. Lawrence University as a baseball player,” said Mike. “This team truly changed my life.” For Morgan, the most treasured memory will be the locker room hype and the call and repeat the team chanted before every game as one of her fondest Saints memories, perhaps words that are even more meaningful now than ever before. 

In the battles we go through in life 

We ask for a chance that is fair 

A chance to equal our stride 

A change to do or dare 

And if we shall win 

Let it be by the code 

Our faith and honor held high 

And if we shall loose 

We will stand by the road 

And cheer as the winners go by 

DAY BY DAY 

WE GET BETTER AND BETTER 

SO WE CAN’T BE BEAT 

CAN’T. BE. BEAT. 

Seniors like Morgan and Mike may not have gotten a traditional Senior Day celebration the way they had imagined, but their teams still made sure to honor them in whatever ways they could. At their last practice, the women’s lacrosse team had an inter-squad scrimmage-turned-Senior Day, complete with a decorated locker room and friends as well as the men’s lacrosse team there to help celebrate. “It was really fun and really sad,” said Morgan. “But it was helpful, and it was special.” 

And while it was challenging amid the chaos for the baseball team to meet together and say formal goodbyes, they too found a way to support their seniors. 

“In an emotionally charged night, we wore our jerseys out for what we knew could be our last night at SLU as college athletes,” recalls Mike. “That was a night I will cherish forever.”