Last Wednesday, as I sat doing work by the fire, warming myself from the bitter cold of an upstate New York winter, a girl walked by, wearing boots, no tights, and a very short skirt. “What in the world is she wearing?” I thought to myself “Does she not realize it is negative eight degrees out?”
Two words make me cringe every time I hear them used together: girl hate. But I realized, sitting by the fire, that I myself was guilty of this atrocious girl on girl hate. I had never once met this girl in my life, and I had no idea who she was, or what her life was like. Yet in that moment, as she walked by, I was so quick to pass judgment.
How many times have you been out on a Friday night, and made a snide remark to your friends about how a girl was dressed like a “slut” or a “whore”? How many times have you sat in class, and called the girl answering all the questions a “stuck up know it all”? I wince every time I hear a girl say she prefers her guy friends to her girl friends because they are not catty.
So ladies, what is up with this girl-on-girl hate? Why do girls describe other girls with common adjectives like “bitchy,” “bossy,” and “slutty,” rather than compliments like “smart,” “strong,” and “beautiful”?
We have grown up in a society that treats successful women as a rarity, making us believe that there can only be one good woman skier, one good woman engineer, or one good woman leader. Naturally, we have become competitive with each other, so desperate to be the best that we are willing to put another woman down, just so we can be the one.
We have grown up in a society that constantly attacks and degrades women. We have grown up bombarded with media images that tell us how we must look, what we must wear, how we must act, and how we must change ourselves to be accepted by society. We are constantly told that we are not good enough. It is no wonder why many of us feel so insecure in our own skin.
Sadly, this insecure and competitive nature has lead to some serious girl on girl hating. So how do we change this? How do we stop the hate? I propose we shred this insecurity and gain some well-deserved confidence. I dare you to take a look in the mirror, and gaze in awe at the amazing creature before your eyes. Reject the notion that successful woman are a rarity (that is CRAZY talk). Ladies, instead of tearing each other apart with snarky and sly comments, let us build each other up. I challenge you to give at least one compliment a day to another fine gal. Tell the girl in class how you admire her brain. Tell the girl running next to you that you envy her perseverance. Tell the girl in the library you highly respect her determination, go and dance with that girl in the tight dress!
How can we fight the ailments of a patriarchal society if we are so busy judging and hating on one another? We must be united. We must succeed together. Let us eradicate girl on girl hate; it is about time for some womanly love.
Tired of girl on girl hating? Want to talk with other ladies who feel the same way? We want to hear what your BEAUTIFUL mind has to say! Come to DUB club Tuesday night at 8pm for some cookies, tea, great discussion, and most importantly, some good ol’ womanly love.