Being in a new place is hard. It’s scary, really, especially when you’re 348 miles from home and are visibly different from everyone else. I can’t speak for all students of color on campus, but for my first weeks here I had to contemplate my decision about choosing SLU. Academically, the school is excellent and aligns with the highest caliber of learning, but socially, it is challenging to assimilate to the SLU culture.
In fact, most times I easily fell into situations of spot the difference and, in the classroom, I was hesitant to speak on topics that affect my culture because I didn’t want to seem like the odd one out. Furthermore, it seems as though the cheery and peppy personalities that were displayed on tours lasted with the duration of the tour.
I was nostalgic for the easygoing flow of high school days and everyday routines that everyone followed. Here, it seemed everyone was on their own page and had already created their impenetrable cliques and here I stood alone- an Afro-Carribean girl from the city who found herself in the North Country, which she didn’t even know existed. I tired after a few parties, four times to be exact, but I’ve learned that’s not exactly the best place to meet people because they often don’t remember you the next day.
I’ve tried just striking up a random conversation, but they always remain just that- a random girl talking to a stranger that might or might not give her an awkward “hi” the next time they cross paths. Gladly, this was only the first weeks, and my luck changed. It was as if some higher power knew I was slowly breaking down and sent a star to show me the way. I met a senior that was unlike all my other interactions. This one ended with “here’s my number, we should have lunch sometime.” It was just that glimmer of kindness that got me through the rest of the week.
It was this singular invitation that gave me someone I could relate to, someone who had understood what I was feeling and was an example herself that it does get better. I got lucky in a way; I found my person, but it is not like that for everyone else. So for those of you who are still where I was, in the beginning, I encourage you to have hope. It’s daunting, I know, but the time will come when you’ll have multiple favorable options of who to have lunch with, or just to have someone to walk with.
In the meantime, know that you belong here, if not for the great social interactions, but because you have academically excelled to reach where you are. For me, even though I still don’t yet feel as though I completely fit here at SLU, I get the sense that I am now being ushered in with welcoming arms. On that note, say hello. Be kind. Compliment someone. Your words of kindness can go a long way.