Bear with me because we’re going to explore one of the strangest candidates that you’ve never heard of. He’s no novice when it comes to running for office, and he has determination that will make you admire him and the work he does, even if he’s a bit, well, eccentric. The man’s name is Vermin Supreme. Yes, that is his legal name and no, I’m not joking. He is currently running on the Democratic ticket, and he even participated in the New Hampshire Primary. And, get this: he received more write in votes than an established
Republican politician by the name of Jim Gilmore, the former governor of Virginia. Supreme says that he paved the way for Donald Trump, and that he started ridiculousness in politics. According to him, Donald Trump saw an opening, and he just “jumped right in there”. But wait, it gets better. He’s been in general elections ever since 1987, and his platform, really, has been consistent. He outlines himself as the only candidate with a “zombie preparedness plan,” a fact that I really hope is undisputed. Not only is he prepared to deal with the situation, he knows what to do with them after his plan inevitably works; renewable energy. Vermin Supreme plans to utilize “giant hamster wheel technology” to generate electricity, with zombies being the metaphorical hamsters. By dangling brains in front of them, these zombies will turn the wheels, generating safe clean renewable energy.
Other distinguishing characteristics of Vermin Supreme are some items of clothing he’s famous for wearing a rubber boot as a hat, and for carrying a giant toothbrush. With the toothbrush, it’s another part of his platform. He states that if he is elected President, he will attempt to pass a law that would require everyone in the United States to brush their teeth. Also, on a side note, he promises that everyone in the United States will receive a pony if he is elected. As for the rubber boot on the head, I have absolutely no idea what that is for. To be completely honest, after looking into it, I think he just wears it, like you or I would wear a normal hat. His running mate in the past has been Jimmy McMillan. You all may remember McMillan as “The Rent is Too Damn High” guy. He even established his own party, the Free Pony Party. Bottom line, even though Supreme wears a boot on his head, this guy means business. Vermin Supreme is a symbol. He is everything that can be done with our political system, and he showcases what the limits actually are. This man came in fourth in the 2016 New Hampshire Democratic primary, and he carries a giant toothbrush.
To be perfectly clear, I will not be voting for him in this coming election (FEEL THE BERN), but I think he shoes us what the political process is open to, well, everybody. Even people who want to trap zombies in hamster wheels as a process for creating renewable energy. So if you’re feeling politically active,go for it.There really isn’t anything that can stop you, and I hope that your platform is filled with ideas that perfectly sum up whatever it is you’re about. Even if it’s about giving away free ponies.