Happy Daze: Ghost or Get Ghosted?
Halloween is just around the corner, but there is one haunting that occurs year-round: “ghosting.” Ghosting has become a slang term to refer to someone who abruptly discontinues contact with a person by dodging their phone calls, emails or texts. Most likely, we have experienced ghosting in some capacity, whether that was a friend, roommate, lover or someone else. Maybe we have even ghosted an individual ourselves. But why do some people get ghosted? What’s the reason for this lack of communication? Well, it can be for a number of reasons, some not related to the person who is being “deaded” or not responded to.
A person might “ghost” someone if they no longer want to pursue a relationship, whether that be a friend or something more. This can happen if there are different hopes for the relationship or intentions differ among individuals. Going along with this, ghosting could also happen if someone doesn’t know how to convey this information to a person and fears hurting someone’s feelings. It is important to note that the digital age has made it easier for us to reject all forms of communication rather than have difficult conversations because we can hide behind screens.
Furthermore, ghosting isn’t specific to the digital era, as methods such as silent treatment and shunning have existed throughout human history; however, the digital age and the prevalence of online dating have also made ghosting more common. In a world where we can swipe through potential mates at any time, quantity overtakes quality, and poor communication occurs. In this case, it does not necessarily have anything to do with the person being ghosted.
Similarly, some people could be ghosting someone due to personal problems. Mental health issues, family troubles, money issues and other overwhelming life challenges can make it difficult for someone to maintain regular communication and thus can sometimes lead to unintentional isolation from others. It’s important to be understanding and supportive in such situations, as it can be hard to reach out while struggling with personal problems.
Finally, ghosting can occur if someone feels uncomfortable, unsafe or threatened by the person they are ghosting. In some cases, it may be an act of self-preservation. If someone is receiving unwelcome advances, harassment or abusive behavior, they might choose to ghost the person as a way to protect themselves from further harm. This is a more serious and justified reason for ghosting, as personal safety should always be a priority.
So, what can we do to address the ghosting phenomenon? It’s quite simple: encourage and model open and honest communication. If you’re not interested in pursuing a relationship or a friendship, it’s better to express that directly rather than disappearing without a trace. By doing so, you allow the other person to move on and avoid unnecessary confusion or self-doubt. It can be awkward telling someone that you don’t wish to see them further, but it can be more harmful o leave them guessing as to what happened. Furthermore, if you simply don’t have time to respond, convey this with a simple message like, “I see your message and will respond to it when I have more time,” or “I have been very busy this week. Can we touch base another time?” This gives the sign that you are open to communicating but at a later date.
On the receiving end, remember that getting ghosted is not a reflection of your worth. Take it as an opportunity to practice radical self-care and positive self-talk. Take part in things that give you pleasure and give yourself compliments and validation rather than relying on people to get them. Finally, reach out to friends and seek support if needed. Remember, people show their character in actions, not words. If someone is not prioritizing you or your relationship, maybe they are not worthy of your time.
In conclusion, while Halloween is a time for ghosts and ghouls, the haunting experience of being ghosted is something we can address year-round. By understanding the reasons behind ghosting, we can strive to be more empathetic, communicate openly, and TREAT others with kindness and respect. There’s no magic potion for avoiding ghosting, but there is power in coping with rejection and building resilience.