The Jonas Brothers Make a Comeback
The Jonas brothers are back, baby! And this time they’ve had sex. After “breaking up” (they can’t really break up- they’re brothers) in 2013, they’ve come out with a new single, “Sucker.”
In case you weren’t a Disney Channel diehard circa 2006-2009, the Jonas Brothers are a band of brothers comprised of Kevin (who no one really cares about), Joe (singer, guitarist and DNCE member) and sweet baby Nick (all around music man and diabetes crusader).
They first released one of the greatest singles of all time, “Year 3000,” in 2006, which catapulted them into fame. The Brothers (not to be confused with the Naked Brothers Band) went onto release “S.O.S.” and “Burnin’ Up” and guest star on “Hannah Montana.”
They also did a Disney Channel Original Movie called “Camp Rock” with Demi Lovato, which then spurred a sequel. Not to mention the fact that they had a short-lived show on the Disney Channel called “Jonas: LA” (alas not the crime drama the name promises).
2013 brought the end to the Jonas Brothers as we knew them when they went their separate ways to pursue different projects.
Joe went on to be the front man of DNCE and even got engaged to Sophie Turner (aka Sansa Stark on “Game of Thrones”). Nick did various solo projects, even going on tour with Demi Lovato. He then dated and married Priyanka Chopra in the most extra wedding the world has ever seen. Kevin slipped out of the spotlight that was never on him, got married and had two daughters.
In the midst of all their lives going in different directions, they started filming a documentary detailing their rise to fame and what has happened in the interim, and you can bet your sweet ass I’ll be watching that the second it comes out. This made them realize that something might be missing (aka a reunion) and thus “Sucker” was born.
But last week, they had the audacity to surprise drop a new single and not even give me time to get my inhaler. It’s a mere three minutes in length but will play forever in my heart.
The song is highkey a bop, but one integral piece is missing- Big Rob, the Jonas’ bodyguard. He was a prominent feature on “Burnin’ Up” (I may or may not have his part memorized). But alas, he is missing from this track and my attempts to reach the Jonas Brothers for a comment were futile.
Apparently in the creative world of the Jonas Brothers, one single is not enough, so they decided to also drop a music video.
The music video. Oh my god the music video. It is the bougiest thing I’ve ever seen, but I’m living for it. All of the Jonas Brothers’ significant others were featured in the music video decked out in the most elaborate gowns this side of Versailles.
They honestly stole the show, I mean, how can they not when Danielle is walking a hoard of corgis and Sophie is double-fisting in a bathtub?
All in all, the song and the music video are pure gold, signifying that the Jonas Brothers are back and ready to party like it’s 2008.
Rating: 10/10 forgotten purity rings