BY: OLIVIA WHITE
FEATURES EDITOR
“I’m incapable of leaving you alone,” croons America’s favorite sadist. There is a collective sound of seat shifting and anticipatory gasping from the audience. Say what you want about Fifty Shades of Grey, but nothing puts viewers in a frenzy like a shirtless Jamie Dorman, a few horsehair riding crops, lots of red leather, and the promise of witnessing “forbidden” sex acts on screen. This is why the flick made $94 million in ticket sales when it opened and ushered in a holiday weekend of romance and bondage.
The movie, featuring the mousy/sexy Dakota Johnson as Anastasia Steele, a character reminiscent of Bella Swan, and the sharp-featured, brown-eyed Calvin Klein model Jamie Dorman as Christian Grey, based on E.L. James’ novel of the same name, heightened Valentine’s Day hype as couples, feminists, BDSMers, and feminist BDSMers awaited its release with hopes that its unveiling would allow them to either praise its sex positive approach to a form of sexuality with a mixed reputation; or harshly criticize its portrayal of a dynamic between a man and a woman that resembles more of a stalker/stalk-ee relationship than a dominant/submissive one. In any case, viewers expected a sexual spectacle, one they could take to the bedroom and the blogosphere. A quick perusal through the wonderful World Wide Web will reveal that Fifty Shades immediately garnered abundant attention, most of it falling into the latter critical category.
Before I delve into the negative noise surrounding director Sam Taylor-Johnson’s sexy spectacle, there is something quite remarkable to be said about the fact that millions of people gathered in public theaters to watch Taylor-Johnson’s filmic rendition of a novel that falls under “erotica” and is notoriously described simply as “porn.” The fact that BDSM has began a gradual incorporation into the discourse surrounding main-stream sexuality suggests the incipience of a shift toward more open-mindedness about sexual preference and what is considered “right” and “wrong” sex. However, it is the problematic way in which it is characterized by what is currently pop culture’s sole representation of BDSM which concerns the aforementioned feminist BDSMers and the plain ol’ feminists alike.
The relationship between Christian and Ana is, in one word, puzzling and, in a few more words, seriously concerning and emotionally abusive. Perhaps it stems from My. Grey’s controlling disposition. Grey professes that he “asserts control in all things,” from his work to his personal relationships and beyond. Mistress Mona Rogers, a professional dominatrix in New York City, explains that the perception that all dominants must also be control freaks is flawed. Christian is more than a dominant, he is what Rogers defines as a “Domitis.” In order to assert his control, he chooses and buys Ana’s clothes and monitors her eating habits. He regulates her relationships, specifically with the opposite sex. His control extends far beyond the bedroom (excuse, far beyond his “Red Room of Pain”) and bleeds into Ana’s private non-Christian life.
Although life with Christian, it would seem, is entirely consumed by him. Initially, he insists that he must keep his distance from Ana because he isn’t good for her. This lasts approximately eight hours. Soon enough, he is sending her priceless first edition copies of Tess of the d’Urbervilles, showing up at her place of employment, tracking her down at a local bar after she drunk dials him, whisking her away in his personal helicopter to spend the weekend with him, and, later in the film, showing up at her mother’s house in Georgia while she’s there for a visit. In any other context, one might consider this type of behavior stalker-esque. Christian, it would seem, is the exception because he’s a mysterious billionaire babe. His behavior, and the apparently inherently intertwined nature of his everyday life and his “dominant” life does not characterize BDSM in a particularly favorable way.
For many professional BDSMers, the major complaint about Fifty Shades is Christian’s possessiveness, combined with the way he restricts Anastasia’s free will. When he asks for her consent to bind her hands with the iconic silver tie, he doesn’t seem to give her the option of refusing. He demands her to “say yes” and “tell [him she understands].” Denying his advances isn’t an choice. Saying yes entails “being [his]” and belonging to him entirely. She is not his sexual partner, but rather, his possession. What does Ana get in return? Him, and little else. He will whip her, tie her up, introduce her to his “Red Room of Pain” (a leather lined dungeon of shackles, crops, rope, and handcuffs, among other things) but he won’t lay in bed with her after they sleep together. He won’t go to a movie with her because, apparently, this denotes romance and he doesn’t “do romance.” There is a serious lack of reciprocity, along with free will, in their relationship. In return for her submission, she gets the “honor” of being chosen by him to be his submissive. There is something deeply manipulative about the way he convinces her to submit to him. This is further exacerbated by the fact that, instead of loving her affectionately and outside the context of a negotiated sexual relationship, he buys her a brand spanking new Mac and an Audi to replace her beat up Volkswagen Beetle. Christian bribes her affection instead of earning it.
Mr. Grey attributes his borderline abusiveness to a difficult childhood. It would appear that his experiences as a child left him damaged, something he sublimates into his sexual tendencies. This suggests that BDSM stems from and accompanies emotional damage, a misconception criticized by the BDSM community. According to Roberts, in a “real, loving, partnered BDSM, it is possible to use it to deal with emotional damage, if you are open and honest.” Christian, in true mysterious billionaire babe fashion, fails to open up to Ana about the nature of his past. He uses his emotional crutch as an explanation for his “fucked up” sexual interests and, instead of opening himself up to her to create a deeper level of intimacy, expects her to submit herself to him without resistance. He will not return her vulnerability; further limiting the reciprocity that one would assume is necessary to a healthy sexual relationship.
According to Clarisse Thorn, author of The S&M Feminist, BDSM typically requires both emotional and physical prep, something seriously lacking in Taylor-Johnson’s portrayal. There is a pre-encounter negotiation period and a post-encounter debriefing period. It is also a very communicative process and includes an ongoing dialogue between both the dominant and submissive. The scene unfolds according to the wishes, desires, and limits of both parties. Thorn corroborates the existence of the intense emotional bond between both dominant and submissive, and that this bond grows and develops through acts of BDSM. Christian is only as intimate as his paper contract allows him to be and that is to say, not very intimate.
Mr. Grey describes himself as “fucked up.” Perhaps he is, but certainly not because he has a penchant for whips and riding crops. He is fucked up because he manipulates Ana into submitting to him. He is fucked up because his need for control restricts his ability to have a healthy, reciprocal sexual relationship, one that relies on mutual consent. There is nothing romantic about a man who is incapable of leaving a woman alone because he desperately needs to control her. There is nothing sexy about a man who disregards the emotional wellbeing of his partner.Ana and Christian’s relationship is seriously problematic for promoting positive sexuality in main-stream sexual discourse, especially surrounding a topic that has been largely considered taboo. Just ask the Dub (or anyone, for that matter); consent is sexy. The BDSM community and experimental couples alike may be excited by whips and chains, but not when they’re wielded by Christian Grey.