Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University
Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University

“Predator”: The Moviest Movie You’ll Ever See

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The viewing experience of watching “The Predator” can be summed up in the following phrases: movement on the screen, I shoved popcorn in my face, I laughed (albeit occasionally), I mouthed “Wha—how?,” CGI blood, credits rolled. Yes, all of these happened.

 

The film is a soft-reboot, although sort of a sequel to “Predator 2,” and it follows a military sniper who has an unfortunate encounter with a crash landed Predator. Realizing that he will be railroaded by the government, he sends parts of the Predator’s armor to his son—THROUGH THE MAIL—from Mexico.

 

From this brilliant plot move, director and screenwriter Shane Black takes his audience along on a fun ride of bizarre characters and loads of CGI with Mr. Uncharismatic, Boyd Holbrook, as his lead. Our sniper lead, Holbrook, then proceeds to hang out with an interesting group of psychologically traumatized war vets who are all wonderfully acted by the likes of Keegan-Michael Key, Thomas Jane, and Olivia Munn, amongst others.

 

This rag-tag crew goes hunting for the armor that was sent to Holbrook’s son, and lo and behold they find everything from two predators to a spaceship that only Holbrook’s autistic son can open—because he has deciphered their language in two days due to his intense focus. Although I wish that Holbrook had found his acting ability during their hour long search, I was still thoroughly entertained by the action scenes and the colorful side-characters.

 

What makes this film the most movie movie you’ll ever see is that it doesn’t do anything offensively bad or exceptionally well. It’s what could be described as a Saturday afternoon special at best. It’s a film you play in the background while cooking a slightly burnt turkey on Thanksgiving, and on occasion, turn to and smile. You won’t smile at the plot or the intelligence of this film, but that’s fine. Not all films need to be smart, and this one certainly has no problem indulging in its own stupidity. But that’s what makes this movie work.

 

Much like “Furious 7,” “The Predator” is not a film that takes itself seriously. Its characters are aware of how dumb the plot is, and they revel in this stupidity—having fun with the bizarre editing and bonkers logic.

 

I’d recommend seeing this film. It’s not good, but it’s certainly not terrible. If you like background noise when you cook—check this out.

Grade: 5.333/10

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