Bachelorex of the Week: Molly Doyle ’25
Name: Doyster
Pronouns: she/they
What are you seeking to attract:
Someone with a car
Major:
Geology and English Lit.
Minor:
you mom
Hometown:
Middle of nowhere, Idaho
Zodiac Sign:
Aquarius (but a January one, so its supreme)
Ticker or Hoot?
ticker if I can’t remember it; hoot if it’s not busy
Hot dogs or cool dogs?
chill dawgs
If you could have a beer with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?
I can’t drink beer but I’d love get a marg with Stevie Nicks
What are you doing on a night where nothing else is going on?
smoking and scheming
You can only let one animal remain on Earth, what would it be?
ptarmigan
What song do you listen to when you’re happy, sad and in between?
“Yes” by LMFAO
What do you bring to a relationship?
choas
What’s the first quality you look for in a potential partner?
whimsy
Year in jail, or stay in jail till you can solve a Calc ll equation?
keep me forever because there’s no way that’s gonna happen
Favorite kind of transportation?
Skateboard for me; unicycle for others
Booze or cruise?
Booze cruise.
Least favorite thing about SLU?
ATO
What are your hobbies?
Skiing, crafting, dismantling the patriarchy and looking at the ground while I walk
Least favorite school subject and why?
Biology – most uptight department.
What is the best time of day to crack a cold one?
Whenever the time is right (the time is always right)
Favorite activity to indulge in after a cold one has been cracked?
dancing, skiing, or cracking another cold one
If you were stranded on an island, what three things would you bring?
My baby blanket, a book on how to build a raft, and my vibrator
Favorite music genre?
The one that goes bum ba dum bum and sometimes la la la
If you could choose how you would die, what would you choose?
Fall in a crevasse (but I didn’t actually die; I faked my death and moved to Iceland)
A first date is going bad, how do you bail?
A firm handshake and simply run away
Ideal first date?
anything outside. Preferably something illegal, but building a snowman also works
Where do you see yourself in ten years?
Loosely wandering the woods with a phD
What are you passionate about?
Social change, rocks, and the fact that Helen Keller wasn’t real
Advice for underclassmen?
Stop caring so much
How can you be contacted?
Call and response only. Big Marco Polo fan.