High Times: SLU Legalizes Marijuana on Campus
President Fox announced on Monday that campus will now allow the consumption of all forms of marijuana. Sources say he plans to implement various outlets for the drug to be distributed on campus starting on April 20.
In this joint…
As the nationwide college admissions scandal widens, St. Lawrence University has come under…
You may want to sit down in your J. Crew jeans for this one…St. Lawrence University is now announcing full sponsorship on the following:
-Blundstones
-Canada Goose
-Lululemon
-Patagonia
-Bean Boots
-Apple
-Hydroflask
-Juul…
Darth Vader Named New Head of SLU Security
In a shocking turn of events, St. Lawrence University recently decided to outsource management of university security to an outside agency. The company, colloquially called “the Empire,” will handle management of St. Lawrence University’s…
Psports on the Rise Threaten Physical Sports Psports on the Rise Threaten Physical Sports
A hot new trend is sweeping youth worldwide: physical sports. Dubbed Psports to distinguish them from the more widely known Esports, or electronic sports. Young people are joining together in teams and compete using their own bodies instead…
Murder at the Arts Annex
Tragedy struck the SLU campus this week as a body was found in one of the 3rd floor study carrels of the Arts Annex. C. McConnell, who identified herself through seance, was summoned before me at precisely 4:32 a.m. as the silver of the…
Student Exiled For Using Straw
Hand reaches out. Fingers grasp object. Eye contact made with innocent bystander. Quick glance away. Instant shame experienced. This sequence of events occurred at St. Lawrence University in the Northstar Cafe as a student, who begged to go…
Saints Athletics vs. Food
Interested in sports but don’t have the motivation to attend a game? Do you ever wonder what sports would look like if we used food instead of regular balls? Well, question no longer as this past weekend, Saint’s athletics indulged our…
Misconstructing the Origins of Threats
News reporters and scholars have misinformed US citizens of Al-Qaeda’s origins in promoting a War on Terror agenda. Ultimately, key concepts and strategies were adopted to preserve support for a translational jihad cause. Accurately…