Boot N’ Paddle
Welcome back Booters ’n‘ Paddlers. Today, I am going to divert from the wonderful weekly trip reports to take inventory of the Outing Club house’s backyard.
The list is as follows:
1- A pair of cornhole boards, one red and one blue, that we should be using more while the lawn is snow-free. These are partially hidden under item #2.
2- One canoe. Why isn’t this boat in the fleet on the side lawn? Has its buoyancy been compromised? We shall never know until it is too late…
3- One two-person kayak. See above (#2) for questions and comments.
4- One blue lidless Rubbermaid tub holding a considerable amount of water. If you have a lid in need of a tub, let us know.
5- One ski rail made of PVC pipe, 2x4s, and other various accoutrements.
6- One metal ski rail that has several shoddy welds. Has yet to hold up for an entire winter.
7- Four additional PVC pipe-rails with varying levels of burial—both on the earth and in the shrubbery residing in its natural habitat in the back sunless corner of the yard.
8- Two frisbees. Presumably chucked and forgotten.
9- One fork. Sorry, Dana Dining Center, I think it is lost to you forever at this point.
10- One overturned bucket that once upon a time held ash in the front yard.
11- One half-full bottle of isopropyl alcohol. Need I say more—IYKYK.
12- One shack, rumored to have been built by Emmit Dayhoof ’26 and Alden Timm ’25 centuries ago.
13- One skate ramp! It’s a pretty cool thing that is kept unseen in the dark backyard. If you skate, though, come on over! It’s warm and always (sometimes) sunshiny back here!
14- One skateboard—Ariana Ardell ’29 (my lovely roommate) found it at a yard sale.
15- One random metal pipe that resides next to the ramp. I have no more information on this.
16- One purple “Flip ’n‘ F*ck” that is currently sopping wet. Comfortable but has probably seen unspeakable action.
17- One metal tin. The bottom has rusted out.
18- One wicker chair. The bottom has rotted out.
19- Other various PVC pipes and ski rails. Clearly, we love our snow activities.
20- One mouse trap with the bones of a mouse attached. Likely thrown from the back door.
21- One glass mason jar, miraculously unbroken.
22- Several beer cans remaining as historical trash. That’s probably where the bees are spawning from: the High Life Terrariums.
23- Assorted cement bricks, rocks, boards. No further information is available.
24- Bugs, leaves, mosquitos, helicopter Maple seedpods, aquarium rocks. No questions, please.
25- Super sick residents of the Swamp (sometimes)!
As you can clearly tell, it is a lovely tract of land for those seeking the Wonders of the World.
Come chill sometime.
Your Phriendly
Neighborhood Outing Club