Societal pressure to get married by age 30 is reaching new limits in China. A literal marriage market was created in Shanghai that mimics characteristics of Facebook and match.com to allow parents to set up posters advertising their children. While parents are focused on matching their child with a spouse, single women and men face intense pressure and criticism if they are 30 years or older and still single. This cultural expectation is clashing with the current progressive movement of educating women. After living abroad in Shanghai, I realized how societal pressure for marriage is similar to that in America, with government benefits reinforcing this institution.
One Child Policy: One Massive Screw Up
China’s one-child policy is one of its most controversial laws, passed in 1979. Legally, the policy limited couples to only one child and enforced a monetary penalties for additional children. Sadly, missing women and other unintended consequences followed.
Studies have estimated that 30 to 60 million women are missing from the population, creating a devastating gender imbalance. The investment of having a son was considered more practical, since daughters would be married off. The cost of raising children also deterred couples to only have one child. Understanding these unintended consequences, the two-child policy was passed in 2015 as an effort to reverse effects of the previous policy. Unfortunately, a long term imbalance has created uncertainty for families having the ability to continue lineage across China.
Xi Jinping: Families are Building Blocks for Society
President Xi Jinping emphasized the need for a strong central family in a government address in December of 2016. Although Shanghai and other cities were becoming more economically competitive, a stable household would maintain balance and security for future generations.
Traditional elements of a strong central family were emphasized in his address: “Families are the cells of society. Society will be stable if we have peaceful families; society will be harmonious if we have happy families.”
As a civic duty, it is essential to maintain heritage and support for the state. Understanding this responsibility, parents and grandparents were given additional encouragement to search for a suitable partner for their children. Chinese college students were reminded of the traditional values by hearing the importance of marriage from various generations within their family.
The Future of Marriage in China
A wave of progress is forever changing the dynamics of marriage within China, and accepting this reality could promote a new standard. The government has boosted incentives for couples to marry and have more children, but with little success. An initiative to embrace educated women should continue the progress experienced throughout China.
Educated women are more selective in choosing a partner and are likely to use contraceptives. Thus, traditional methods of societal pressure could be seen as outdated. A new approach should complement the shifting progress experienced in China.
The lasting legacy of the one-child policy created this more competitive and progressive marriage scene. Traditional pressure remains among parents and the government to help create marriages and continue the family lineage. However, fear persists that these younger branches are in too competitive of a world.
Societal pressure has proven not to be the most productive method. Alternative methods such as trust and support focused on women should be considered as a new initiative to continue progress for younger generations. Parents must trust that changing dynamics means more empowered women and rearrangement of traditional marriage practices. Support will be the foundation that reminds parents that they should not force their child into a relationship. Trust that the lineage will live on and support the children navigating this more competitive world.