Finding Positivity Amidst a Global Crisis

Back at St. Lawrence, a close friend from abroad sits in alone his dorm room in Sykes, taking online classes and completing homework assignments under the fluorescent lights. Zejian, an international student from China, is now unable to go back to his home, and rarely has the opportunity to talk to his family who are quarantined on the other side of the world. 

“My parents are still worried about me because the number of infected cases in N.Y. is too many,” he explains over the phone. “98 percent of the flight is cancelled, I think I have to stay on campus for quite a long time.” 

During our phone call, I shoot questions at Zejian, trying to get him to open up about some kind of struggle, anxiety, or sadness that he is feeling, but he is resilient and positive in his responses to my questions that assume dread and despair.  

He tells me that there are still almost one hundred students on campus of which he has many good friends to hang out with, and that Dana delivers! He also talks about his plans to “find meaningful things to do during the summer.”  

“Do you ever wish you could go home to your family?” I ask him, trying to urge him to open up about how he is really feeling. How could he seem like he was doing so much better than me when he was the one trapped alone at school? 

“Actually no,” he responds with confidence. “You know I cannot access to the US website internet in China. And there is a 12 hour time difference, so I would have trouble with taking the classes.” 

This is when I realize that I have spent my interview trying to dig for something that simply was not there in the first place: a story about the pain and anguish and loneliness of the coronavirus. All I got in return from Zejian was positivity and gratefulness for all that he has. I realize that this is not a sob story about depression, but instead a tale of resilience and optimism. 

I am ashamed to admit that at points I have forgotten to stop and look at everything I am so blessed to have right now. I had begun writing an article which I had assumed would take the route of exposing how difficult it is to live isolated in our bedrooms, or in dorm rooms on campuses, but that story is not the true reflection of what I have found. 

Because of the way in which my generation, and even the generation before ours, has grown up with complete freedom and without ever being asked to sacrifice, we lack a resilience to extreme situations such as the one we are in today. We have trouble understanding the importance of sacrificing what we love to protect the greater population, this reflects the government and political sphere under which we have grown up. 

For students like Zejian who come from countries in which they do not have the freedom that we do in the United States, or the democratic government, this event may not have as detrimental of an impact. Zejian has had to make much greater sacrifice in his life than I have in mine. 

This is a time of complete confusion, chaos, and terror. However, it is also the first time in decades in which the entire world is united over one fight. It is a time in which incredible acts of courage and selflessness have become widespread and more common. There are stories of companies changing their production from sneakers or clothing to masks, young healthy people grocery shopping for their older neighbors, and a widespread increase in people checking in on each other. This is the perspective that Zejian has. 

This is the time to show up. To better ourselves for the time when we again will have the freedom to decide the path that we will take. And when the anxiety creeps in, the doom and despair, I want to push it away with the knowledge that this too will pass, that although Zejian is almost completely isolated in upstate New York with almost no resources, his only complain to me over the phone was that “the bad news is always there. It is very difficult to calm down to focus on the study.” 

Zejian sacrifices himself every day when he is in school in the United States because of the racism and hatred towards the Chinese which is being reiterated by President Trump now. However, this is not a new trend, and he knows that it too will pass. “There will always be racism,” he says confidently, “But it is just now that it is becoming obvious.” 

Zejian has inspired me to be positive during this time of uncertainty. He reminded me that even though we don’t have control over the world around us, we have control over how we respond, and he has chosen positivity and gratitude. So, for now on, I will be doing my best to channel my inner Zejian, and to always remember in even the darkest moments that at least Dana delivers.