Breaking News: Appleton Arena Will Host 2023 Stanley Cup Finals

In a press conference a few days ago, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman made a surprising announcement. Bettman announced to the league that the NHL will be changing its format for who hosts the Stanley Cup Finals. Usually, the two teams split the games between each of their home arenas, with one team hosting four games and the other hosting three. This season, however, things will be different.

Bettman said the NHL has made the decision for all games of the Stanley Cup Finals to be hosted at Appleton Arena on St. Lawrence University’s campus in Canton, NY. Bettman said, “This may seem like an odd decision, but St. Lawrence University, a brilliant private institution in the bustling metropolis that is Canton, NY, is the perfect place to host the legendary Stanley Cup Finals.”

While some may argue that the NHL should keep its current system with two teams in the finals (which will likely be the Boston Bruins, Carolina Hurricanes, New York Rangers, or New Jersey Devils out of the Eastern Conference and the Las Vegas Golden Knights, Los Angeles Kings, Minnesota Wild, or Edmonton Oilers out of the Western Conference), it is tough to argue with the league’s decision.

After all, potential host cities like Boston, New York City, Las Vegas, or Los Angeles just don’t quite have the same allure as Canton, and they aren’t home to the greatest college in the world, St. Lawrence. Moreover, these other cities, while having a lot of potential dining options, just cannot compare to Dana Dining Hall and the gourmet, five-star quality food it offers. Dana will cater to all of the athletes in the Stanley Cup finals, giving them the quality nutrition they need to play hockey at the highest level.

Wayne Gretzky, a four-time Stanley Cup Champion and consensus greatest NHL player of all time, had this to say when asked about the venue move to Canton, “I think this is an amazing decision for the league. I traveled to some cool places in my career and played games in some awesome arenas, but nothing can compare to Canton, NY, and the legendary Appleton Arena.” Later, when asked about the dining options in Canton, Gretzky said, “I played in six Stanley Cups, played well in them, won four, and lost two. However, if I had been gifted the honor of being able to eat at Dana Dining Hall during those Stanley Cups, there is absolutely zero doubt in my mind that I would’ve won all six of those championships, and probably scored five goals a game too.”

Another aspect that factored into the NHL’s decision was the epic fanfare of Appleton Arena that would be present in these new and improved Stanley Cup Finals. After all, a common criticism of current major sports championships is that the people at the games are just the rich people who can afford tickets and don’t care about the game, and not true fans. Having the Stanley Cup in Canton, and of course, giving SLU students and Canton locals free or very cheap tickets, will give the crowd an electric atmosphere of true hockey fans that will surely make the games more enjoyable for the players, coaches, and those watching the games on television.

This means everyone better mark their calendars and follow the NHL season with a close eye because the premier hockey event of the U.S. will be coming to Canton, NY, and Appleton Arena on our very own St. Lawrence University campus!