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Boot ‘n Paddle: Get Down on it

stlawu
Written by Clay Duclos

Photo via Stlawu.edu

Goooood morning, St. Lawrence! Welcome to the most bodacious block of words this side of your eyelids. The Boot ‘n’ Paddle is the weekly column of your friendly neighborhood Outing Club, where we can share stories from last weeks’ trips and give some teasers of upcoming club events.

Last week: Wow! We wrapped up another round of our annual Wet Hot American Camp Dance Spectacuthon last Friday evening, and I must commend all our friends across campus and especially the ladies at the Dub for making it one heck of a fiesta. When the moment is right, we all can really break it down. My memory of the night isn’t perfect, but I’m pretty certain that was the most wet, most hot, most American, all-beef, no preservatives, double patty bacon cheeseburger of a party Canton has seen since the mid-sixties — I heard this one kid nearly kissed a girl (!).

We have a few lost and found items over at 58 Park Street, so please let us know if you’re missing any of the following: a stars ‘n stripes male thong, size XXXL; an American alligator of ample size (answers to “Beth”); the complete fifth season of “Dance Moms”; a half-eaten fatbag (err, pizza roll); and an inflatable shark filled with what we believe are tears. As always, we’d like to remind you in the future to only break dance publicly after dialing it in your dorm room, and to never, under any circumstance, do the worm. Thank you.

Speaking of wet, the OC boys got super wet at Beaverfest last Saturday rafting some serious rapids in Colton, NY. How wet, you ask? Remember that alien jumping out of the dude’s stomach at the end of Spaceballs? Like, twice that.

But the most GNAR points over the weekend were accrued by Maria Leech (follow her on MySpace!), who led a bad-to-the-bone sunrise hike up Mt. Marcy at 3:30 a.m., following only the stars overhead to the summit. An anonymous note informs me that she still owes a fellow trip leader two bucks for ice cream.

Next week: Welcome to the Outing Club, freshmen! May all your raddest, baddest dreams come true while you’re at SLU. For those of you who missed signing up for our email list at the club fair Friday, don’t get your undies in a bunch! You can still sign up with any OC member (we typically wear rollerblades and big hats); we’d love to take you on our next trip. Keep your eyes peeled for upcoming trips this week; some of them are gonna be really freaking sendy (#muffbluff #bellyflop$ #dontaskquestions), and others are gonna be way more chill (#naturemuseumanyone?).

Also, to all open-minded underclassmen: please consider asking a house member to be your date at our Sadie Hawkins dance next Thursday, September 15th. All of us need dates, but we can only go with a total stranger (FYI I’m fastest in the house, can do 25+ pushups, and once ate an apple in a single bite). Don’t be shy! We’re all friendly, but I’m probably the friendliest, and I think you should ask me! Again, a reminder that doing the worm will not be tolerated.

Stay classy, campus.

Love,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Outing Club

About the author

Clay Duclos