In what he said was by-far the longest running skit in the storied history of Saturday Night Live, Larry David revealed that he is in fact Bernie Sanders and his presidential candidacy was never real. David said he was getting worried that people were taking Bernie Sanders so seriously and wanted to clear the air before things “went too far.”
Although Bernie Sanders trails front-runner Hillary Clinton in the delegate count, he has actually won some national polls and has the momentum after three straight primary wins last week. Needless to say, this should stunt his momentum when people get word that he is in fact the 68-year-old creator of Seinfeld.
People have been “feeling the bern” all across the country for months now, as his candidacy has been carried by a wave of support from young people, old people and women, but mostly average white folks.
The Sanders platform is being run on the premise of a single-payer health care system, government subsidized college tuition, higher taxes on the rich and a less-hawkish foreign policy plan. Mr. David stated to the media came up with these ideas while drunk and was not sure what he was going to do after Seinfeld ended.
“I didn’t think anyone would take these things seriously or see them as a possibility. A tax rate on millionares of 52 percent? Do they realize what country we live in? This is America. It’s been great for my career though, it has been quite enjoyable to play the role of someone so genuinely convinced America can be saved from itself,” he said.
“Senator Sanders is somewhere in Mexico with a Corona in each hand. He is safe and sound. He just saw this as a perfect opportunity to get the hell away from everything going on Capitol Hill” David said when prompted about the safety and well-being of the real Bernie Sanders.
He also said Mr. Sanders is cut off from the outside world and “will be in for quite a shock” if he ever gets to a radio or a TV. That being said, Larry David will take a few days to consider whether he will continue running as Bernie Sanders now that this whole thing has “gotten so out of hand.”
It is a fascinating way to rise to fame. Bernie Sanders is now a household name and is dominating Facebook pages across the globe. Other celebrities have risen to fame in interesting ways, including but not limited to Kim Kardashian’s sex tape leaked by her own mother and Paris Hilton, who is famous for absolutely nothing substantial at all.
The questions now arise of who else is part of the joke. Sources tell The Hill News that Donald Trump may in fact be Golem from Lord of the Rings and Hillary Clinton is almost certainly just Charles Koch in a hairpiece. Will we ever know the truth?
Our sources also indicated that Oprah Winfrey will be hosting a “True Candidate Reveal” in which she will tear the masks off of all presidental forerunners. Whether or not this show will actually be happening, the situation of David pretending to be Sanders will certainly go down in history.
Someday, our children will learn of this epic hoax, pulled off by SNL.